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College Freshman

I'm going to be friends with all my professors So that they'll bump up my grades

I'm going to be friends with all my professors So that they'll bump up my grades College Freshman
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asks his parents' permission To post in FFA

asks his parents' permission To post in FFA College Freshman
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Writes Page-And-a-Half LOng opening "paragraph" Readers think thesis is the conclusion

Writes Page-And-a-Half LOng opening
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Can't think of a clever anything "I know, lets ask Reddit"

Can't think of a clever anything
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At UVA for 2 monthes "Lil jon owns a restaurant here?!"

At UVA for 2 monthes
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razor scooter

razor scooter College Freshman
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Hears you get straight A's if your roommate dies, tells roommate Dies

Hears you get straight A's if your roommate dies, tells roommate Dies College Freshman
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Favorite song Party rock Anthem

Favorite song Party rock Anthem College Freshman
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Has 0.9 GPA after first semester "I decided not to go to med school"

Has 0.9 GPA after first semester
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"yeah dude, i'm into some underground stuff online." "i bet you've never heard of bloodninja, have you?"
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