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Condescending Wonka
Oh, you went to Snowball this weekend? Please post pictures of lightshows on Facebook so I can live vicariously through you.
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Oh, you're going to panama city beach? Please tell me how much alcohol you will consume with your girls
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Oswego, #1 in SUNYAC they must win championships
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So you study Law? Tell me again how difficult it is
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Oh, you're 13 years old? Please tell me about how much Joseph Kony has affected you.
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Oh midwood stole memes from brooklyn tech? Please, ask us if we give a shit
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Oh you updated your status about going to sleep now? I'd love to hear more about your interesting life
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Thanks for bolding those words in your last email to me. I would not have read them otherwise.
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Going for your first jog of the year? Yes, please take your shirt off to impress us.
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Oh you're turning 19 i'm sure every mature 19 year old giggles hysterically at shakesbear
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