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Confession Bear
The cleaning guy in our building is always too stoned to work So I replace paper towels and toilet paper in the bathrooms on my breaks
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I repeatedly took back my ex who cheated on me several times over the course of 3 years... ...Just for the blow jobs.
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I never reply to emails Friday or Saturday night So people will think I'm busy out partying
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My friends noticed that I lost a lot of weight over one winter during highschool and always ask how I did it and stayed so thin. I always say that I hit the gym hard, but in reality I fell into a deep depression, engaged in self-harm and anorexia.
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My old roommate cock blocked me once at a bar So right before his date I pissed in his steam iron. For days he couldn't figure out where the smell was coming from.
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I don't resent the weight my wife gained while she was pregnant But I do resent the nothing that she's done to change it in the year since then
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my entire family thinks i finished my degree when i walked across the stage last year i just finished my last final exam today
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Sometimes when I can't sleep I reddit for hours
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I tend to leave leftovers in the fridge to long.... So I just throw out the container. I don't want to see what's under the lid!!
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I upvoted every talking egg gif and submitted one myself
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