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Confession Bear
I pretend to be asleep on roadtrips just so I don't have to talk to my family
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i hooked up with my coworker's drunk cousin at the company christmas party. she's 11 years older than me.
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I pretend not to remember your name so that i look like im a busy person with an active social life
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I'm scared of people who say they have to go to the bathroom And later tell you "I'm fine, I don't have to go anymore"
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When my wife's backseat driving starts getting to me I turn her seat warmer on high and watch her complain about the A/C
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I live in constant jealousy and suspicion that my girlfriend is cheating on me but never tell her because i'm afraid it will be a self fulfilling prophecy
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When my non-engineering friends say they have a lot of work I automatically assume they're full of shit
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I closely follow all news stories about the FEMEN activists protests Just for the boobies
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People ask me why I keep my pinky nail a bit longer than the others I tell them it's because it helps me with guitar but it's for picking my nose
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Bitch put me in the friendzone I laugh in her face every time she gets her heart broken from these "bad boys"
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