Confession Bear

My dream of million karma destroyed by chocolate fucking horlicks

My dream of million karma destroyed by chocolate fucking horlicks  Confession Bear

I really want my roommate's dog to die He's old and shits all over the house

I really want my roommate's dog to die He's old and shits all over the house  Confession Bear

Some kids playing around in my lane while I'm swimming laps I purposely kick one as I pass and it starts crying

Some kids playing around in my lane while I'm swimming laps I purposely kick one as I pass and it starts crying  Confession Bear

When I scratch my armpits, i smell my fingertips, to make sure my deodorant is working

When I scratch my armpits, i smell my fingertips, to make sure my deodorant is working  Confession Bear

when someone brags about how much sex they have had I always think they are lying

when someone brags about how much sex they have had I always think they are lying    Confession Bear

Now that my wife is pregnant she is always napping... I pretend to not want to nap with her, so when I do, I can get favors later.

Now that my wife is pregnant she is always napping... I pretend to not want to nap with her, so when I do, I can get favors later.  Confession Bear

been telling people allergies are kicking my ass actually quitting pain pills

been telling people allergies are kicking my ass actually quitting pain pills  Confession Bear

my best friend was killed by a drunk driver and i was glad because he didn't find out that his girlfriend and I were sleeping together

my best friend was killed by a drunk driver and i was glad because he didn't find out that his girlfriend and I were sleeping together  Confession Bear

I've taken numerous fat girls home from the bar, and blamed it on being too drunk I really prefer them over skinny girls. They're much better in bed, and better company

I've taken numerous fat girls home from the bar, and blamed it on being too drunk I really prefer them over skinny girls.  They're much better in bed, and better company  Confession Bear

I accidentally put varnish in my step-son's tea But I wanted to seem like a nice guy, so I gave it to him anyway.

I accidentally put varnish in my step-son's tea But I wanted to seem like a nice guy, so I gave it to him anyway.  Confession Bear
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