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Confession Bear

The day I found my ex-girlfriend cheating on me, I stole her parrot and took it home with me. I told her it flew away. I still have it to this day.

The day I found my ex-girlfriend cheating on me, I stole her parrot and took it home with me. I told her it flew away. I still have it to this day. Confession Bear
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Sometimes I buy 2 drinks when I get fast food to go So they don't think it's all for me

Sometimes I buy 2 drinks when I get fast food to go So they don't think it's all for me Confession Bear
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I didn't make plans so my mom could go out with me tonight, she ditched me for her boyfriend

I didn't make plans so my mom could go out with me tonight, she ditched me for her boyfriend Confession Bear
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WHENEVER I AM TALKING ABOUT OBAMA AND SOMEONE MENTIONS BENGHAZI I AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME THEY ARE AN IDIOT AND TEA PARTY WACKO.

WHENEVER I AM TALKING ABOUT OBAMA AND SOMEONE MENTIONS BENGHAZI I AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME THEY ARE AN IDIOT AND TEA PARTY WACKO. Confession Bear
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I brought my Rottweiler into Petco the other day He pissed on a display of dog sweaters and I just walked away like nothing happened

I brought my Rottweiler into Petco the other day He pissed on a display of dog sweaters and I just walked away like nothing happened Confession Bear
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I play World of Warplanes sometimes because its nice to not care about stats

I play World of Warplanes sometimes because its nice to not care about stats Confession Bear
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When Someone tells me she is a strong independent woman I automatically assume she's just a bitch who can't get/keep a guy

When Someone tells me she is a strong independent woman I automatically assume she's just a bitch who can't get/keep a guy Confession Bear
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I tell my coworkers to go home early at the end of our shift. I don't tell them it's because they're bad at their job and I'll finish work faster without them.

I tell my coworkers to go home early at the end of our shift. I don't tell them it's because they're bad at their job and I'll finish work faster without them. Confession Bear
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I was hoping for the Miami Heat to lose so my FB news feed wouldn't be swamped with victory posts

I was hoping for the Miami Heat to lose so my FB news feed wouldn't be swamped with victory posts Confession Bear
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I don't read any comments piggybacking off of the top comment I assume it's everyone's failed attempt at humor that's most likely to be seen.

I don't read any comments piggybacking off of the top comment I assume it's everyone's failed attempt at humor that's most likely to be seen. Confession Bear
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