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Confession Bear
The narwhal bacons at midnight was fucking stupid A horsed sized duck/ 100 duck sized horses is just as stupid
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unsubscribed to /r/atheism I am an atheist
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After I go to the restroom, I just splash water on my hands So people will think I washed them
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My friend wont listen to my adivce So now I tell her to do the opposite of what I would do
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I played "beat it" on a jukebox at a bowling alley Because I really wanted the black kids in the lane next to us to bust some moves
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The only reason I don't delete my facebook account is because of all the free karma I can get from cringepics
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I go on Reddit so much I've started to think in memes so I can make a good post
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i lose respect for musicians who won't let weird al parody them
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When a fat person comes into my deli, I always give them extra meat So that they don't complain to the manager that there wasn't enough
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I'm 33 years old And I still have to tie my shoes with the bunny ears method
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