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Malicious Advice Mallard

If your boyfriend acts jealous when he asks you about your ex tell him you didn't even enjoy having sex with him because it hurt too much

If your boyfriend acts jealous when he asks you about your ex tell him you didn't even enjoy having sex with him because it hurt too much Malicious Advice Mallard
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Need a job? Work at your favorite restaurant

Need a job? Work at your favorite restaurant Malicious Advice Mallard
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If you look each other in the eye a high five will never fail

If you look each other in the eye a high five will never fail Malicious Advice Mallard
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drink more

drink more Malicious Advice Mallard
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*Sees other person playing super mario 2* Ok, let that black thing jump on you, now jump off that cliff, jump into that electric thing, throw that key off a cliff.

*Sees other person playing super mario 2* Ok, let that black thing jump on you, now jump off that cliff, jump into that electric thing, throw that key off a cliff. Malicious Advice Mallard
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Long line at the airport? yell bomb

Long line at the airport? yell bomb Malicious Advice Mallard
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next time you see a girl in slutty clothes Ask her how much she charges a night

next time you see a girl in slutty clothes Ask her how much she charges a night Malicious Advice Mallard
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Find a computer the belongs to the department of defense? Hack into it and post all it's contents online.

Find a computer the belongs to the department of defense? Hack into it and post all it's contents online. Malicious Advice Mallard
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Learning guitar and the strings hurt your fingers? Burn your fingertips, the blisters will turn into calluses

Learning guitar and the strings hurt your fingers? Burn your fingertips, the blisters will turn into calluses Malicious Advice Mallard
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Always be honest lying will get you nowhere

Always be honest lying will get you nowhere Malicious Advice Mallard
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