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Malicious Advice Mallard
get hit in the balls apply icy hot to ease the pain
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Smoke cigarettes It could help you catch fugitive terrorists
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Try jumping while taking a pee You'll get a euphoric feeling
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Smoking Makes you look cool
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Want to make your relationship deeper? Stick it in her pooper
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When deciding where you plan to live or work Try to set up a commute that is downhill in both directions
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Feeling dehydrated? Have a soda.
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Having trouble talking to girls? Quit beating off. The additional stress will help you focus when you're around them.
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Standing next to a pool and someone asks for your phone? Give it to them, they probably need to order some pizza
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Wanting to repost but don't want to get caught? Just upload the pic to a new imgur link. You'll totally get away with it
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