Malicious Advice Mallard

Have Something in your eye? put hand sanitizer on it.

Have Something in your eye? put hand sanitizer on it.  Malicious Advice Mallard

Static electricity? Touch something metal to make it go away

Static electricity? Touch something metal to make it go away  Malicious Advice Mallard

Relationship failing? A pregnancy should patch things up.

Relationship failing? A pregnancy should patch things up.  Malicious Advice Mallard

Need a rattle for your baby? Use a bottle of pills. it doubles as an intelligence test.

Need a rattle for your baby? Use a bottle of pills. it doubles as an intelligence test.   Malicious Advice Mallard

Parents forcing you to cook? Burn the shit out of it so they won't ask again.

Parents forcing you to cook? Burn the shit out of it so they won't ask again.  Malicious Advice Mallard

Car Overheating? Let it run with the A/C blasting to cool it down.

Car Overheating?
 Let it run with the A/C blasting to cool it down.  Malicious Advice Mallard

Don't want to do the awkward side-step dance with someone walking towards you? just look them dead in the eyes

Don't want to do the awkward side-step dance with someone walking towards you? 
 just look them dead in the eyes  Malicious Advice Mallard

pRETEND YOUR DRUNK tAKE A BITE OF TWO DIFFERENT CHEESEBURGERS

pRETEND YOUR DRUNK tAKE A BITE OF TWO DIFFERENT CHEESEBURGERS   Malicious Advice Mallard

tomorrow is april first listen to me

tomorrow is april first
 listen to me  Malicious Advice Mallard

Just yell "He's got a bomb!" he will be escorted off the plane and you will have two seats for yourself

Just yell
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