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Malicious Advice Mallard

Have Something in your eye? put hand sanitizer on it.

Have Something in your eye? put hand sanitizer on it. Malicious Advice Mallard
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Static electricity? Touch something metal to make it go away

Static electricity? Touch something metal to make it go away Malicious Advice Mallard
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Relationship failing? A pregnancy should patch things up.

Relationship failing? A pregnancy should patch things up. Malicious Advice Mallard
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Need a rattle for your baby? Use a bottle of pills. it doubles as an intelligence test.

Need a rattle for your baby? Use a bottle of pills. it doubles as an intelligence test. Malicious Advice Mallard
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Parents forcing you to cook? Burn the shit out of it so they won't ask again.

Parents forcing you to cook? Burn the shit out of it so they won't ask again. Malicious Advice Mallard
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Car Overheating? Let it run with the A/C blasting to cool it down.

Car Overheating? Let it run with the A/C blasting to cool it down. Malicious Advice Mallard
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Don't want to do the awkward side-step dance with someone walking towards you? just look them dead in the eyes

Don't want to do the awkward side-step dance with someone walking towards you? just look them dead in the eyes Malicious Advice Mallard
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pRETEND YOUR DRUNK tAKE A BITE OF TWO DIFFERENT CHEESEBURGERS

pRETEND YOUR DRUNK tAKE A BITE OF TWO DIFFERENT CHEESEBURGERS Malicious Advice Mallard
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tomorrow is april first listen to me

tomorrow is april first listen to me Malicious Advice Mallard
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Just yell "He's got a bomb!" he will be escorted off the plane and you will have two seats for yourself

Just yell
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