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Malicious Advice Mallard

Saving money for something important? Save half the amount and bet it on a hand of blackjack

Saving money for something important? Save half the amount and bet it on a hand of blackjack Malicious Advice Mallard
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partner's genitals taste bad? use a jolly rancher to mask it

partner's genitals taste bad? use a jolly rancher to mask it Malicious Advice Mallard
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mosquito repellant? eat bananas

mosquito repellant? eat bananas Malicious Advice Mallard
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Been drinking? Think you've had too much to drive? Test your sobriety by trying to pee THROUGH the hole in the toilet seat!

Been drinking? Think you've had too much to drive? Test your sobriety by trying to pee THROUGH the hole in the toilet seat! Malicious Advice Mallard
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To New Homeowners: If you can't sleep at 6:45am on Saturday Just mow the lawn. neighbors love tidy lawns.

To New Homeowners: If you can't sleep at 6:45am on Saturday Just mow the lawn. neighbors love tidy lawns. Malicious Advice Mallard
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You're armed while a criminal is breaking into your home? Shout out to them that you are armed. Then when you see them, shoot above the door to scare them away.

You're armed while a criminal is breaking into your home? Shout out to them that you are armed. Then when you see them, shoot above the door to scare them away. Malicious Advice Mallard
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You can do anything you want as long as you don't get caught

You can do anything you want as long as you don't get caught Malicious Advice Mallard
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When going out to a bar or club with loud music Spray chloroform behind your ears before you go out, this is where women get the closest when talking to you.

When going out to a bar or club with loud music Spray chloroform behind your ears before you go out, this is where women get the closest when talking to you. Malicious Advice Mallard
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If you need to remember to take something with you when you leave the house Place your car keys, the #1 thing people lose, on top of the item

If you need to remember to take something with you when you leave the house Place your car keys, the #1 thing people lose, on top of the item Malicious Advice Mallard
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Angry at your children? Tell them you didn't want to get kids.

Angry at your children? Tell them you didn't want to get kids. Malicious Advice Mallard
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