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Malicious Advice Mallard
re-post something that recently made the front page. Redditors will appreciate the second laugh they get out of it
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You're on the kisscam with your sister? Start doing the pelvic thrust.
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Late for work? slash your own tires and instagram that shit
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You should start smoking early and never quit. we're all going to die. life is meaningless and the best you can hope for is to die in your sleep. light up and enjoy.
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Need to lose some weight? Drink bleach. It will also whiten your teeth!
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Have some leftovers wrapped in tin foil? Microwave it the way it is that way you save time and won't have to wash dishes
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Verbally abuse the official at your 10 year old kid's sporting event
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win friends and influence people through intimidation
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If you see a shark swimming towards you Flail Thrashing the water will scare it away
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About to be captured by the police? Inject yourself with a large amount of heroin. You'll feel fantastic, and you'll get a relaxing night in the hospital.
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