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Malicious Advice Mallard

Tired of striking out at the bar? "For a good time, call..."

Tired of striking out at the bar?
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IF you want really fresh popcorn at the movies Ask the kid at the concession stand to catch the popcorn in your bag as it falls out of the popper

IF you want really fresh popcorn at the movies Ask the kid at the concession stand to catch the popcorn in your bag as it falls out of the popper Malicious Advice Mallard
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Don't want to wear a condom during sex? Masturbate 8 times before, you'll have no semen left.

Don't want to wear a condom during sex? Masturbate 8 times before, you'll have no semen left. Malicious Advice Mallard
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Hungry, but dont want the calories? Just put on flavored lip balm, it'll satisfy your appetite

Hungry, but dont want the calories? Just put on flavored lip balm, it'll satisfy your appetite Malicious Advice Mallard
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Car behind you riding your ass? wash your windshield

Car behind you riding your ass? wash your windshield Malicious Advice Mallard
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Have an interview? tell the truth you were late for work, the employer will love the honesty

Have an interview? tell the truth you were late for work, the employer will love the honesty Malicious Advice Mallard
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Post any crimes you've committed to reddit you get a ton of karma

Post any crimes you've committed to reddit you get a ton of karma Malicious Advice Mallard
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Upset with a politician or celebrity? Fabricate a nasty rumor about them and email it to every person you meet

Upset with a politician or celebrity? Fabricate a nasty rumor about them and email it to every person you meet Malicious Advice Mallard
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Go to LA with only your guitar instead of college. You'll be fine

Go to LA with only your guitar instead of college. You'll be fine Malicious Advice Mallard
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Want Comment Karma? Quote a Black Eyed Peas Song on the front page!

Want Comment Karma? Quote a Black Eyed Peas Song on the front page! Malicious Advice Mallard
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