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Paranoid Parrot

taking a shit when friends arrive early in my apartment immediately turn on shower to make them think i'm not taking a shit

taking a shit when friends arrive early in my apartment immediately turn on shower to make them think i'm not taking a shit Paranoid Parrot
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Using a public bathroom and locked the door Better check the lock three extra times

Using a public bathroom and locked the door Better check the lock three extra times Paranoid Parrot
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hear police sirens near house Clear internet history to beginning of time

hear police sirens near house Clear internet history to beginning of time Paranoid Parrot
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Checking my balls for cancer OH GOD WTF IS THAT

Checking my balls for cancer OH GOD WTF IS THAT Paranoid Parrot
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Didn't get a tip Their kid must have taken it

Didn't get a tip Their kid must have taken it Paranoid Parrot
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Close Door in room they are waiting outside

Close Door in room they are waiting outside Paranoid Parrot
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about to announce motions NO MATTER

about to announce motions NO MATTER Paranoid Parrot
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-owner buys another parrot- "I'm being replaced!"

-owner buys another parrot-
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japan quake supervolcano imminent on other side of ocean

japan quake supervolcano imminent on other side of ocean Paranoid Parrot
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Person is offline on AIM Ask friend to check status

Person is offline on AIM Ask friend to check status Paranoid Parrot
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