Paranoid Parrot

taking a shit when friends arrive early in my apartment immediately turn on shower to make them think i'm not taking a shit

taking a shit when friends arrive early in my apartment immediately turn on shower to make them think i'm not taking a shit  Paranoid Parrot

Using a public bathroom and locked the door Better check the lock three extra times

Using a public bathroom and locked the door Better check the lock three extra times  Paranoid Parrot

hear police sirens near house Clear internet history to beginning of time

hear police sirens near house Clear internet history to beginning of time  Paranoid Parrot

Checking my balls for cancer OH GOD WTF IS THAT

Checking my balls for cancer OH GOD WTF IS THAT  Paranoid Parrot

Didn't get a tip Their kid must have taken it

Didn't get a tip Their kid must have taken it  Paranoid Parrot

Close Door in room they are waiting outside

Close Door in room they are waiting outside  Paranoid Parrot

about to announce motions NO MATTER

about to announce motions NO MATTER  Paranoid Parrot

-owner buys another parrot- "I'm being replaced!"

-owner buys another parrot-

japan quake supervolcano imminent on other side of ocean

japan quake supervolcano imminent on other side of ocean  Paranoid Parrot

Person is offline on AIM Ask friend to check status

Person is offline on AIM Ask friend to check status  Paranoid Parrot
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