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Paranoid Parrot

Every character in that story is me

Every character in that story is me Paranoid Parrot
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Fapped for the first time as a kid Oh my god do i have an std now?

Fapped for the first time as a kid Oh my god do i have an std now? Paranoid Parrot
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sees picture of scary insect on reddit while pooping finishes poop standing up

sees picture of scary insect on reddit while pooping finishes poop standing up Paranoid Parrot
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Hears Creak Decides not to push his chances

Hears Creak Decides not to push his chances Paranoid Parrot
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Gets weird heartache this is how i die

Gets weird heartache this is how i die Paranoid Parrot
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hears rumble of 747 taking off in the distance armageddon

hears rumble of 747 taking off in the distance armageddon Paranoid Parrot
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White, unsuspecting van passes by me on the street? Must be full of agents sent from the future to eliminate me before I become a threat to the New World Order

White, unsuspecting van passes by me on the street? Must be full of agents sent from the future to eliminate me before I become a threat to the New World Order Paranoid Parrot
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Heard news story that red meat causes cancer probably extends life but government wants to control us

Heard news story that red meat causes cancer probably extends life but government wants to control us Paranoid Parrot
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Left the gas station quickly They're going to think I didn't pay

Left the gas station quickly They're going to think I didn't pay Paranoid Parrot
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Boss didn't respond to "see you" He's going to fire me

Boss didn't respond to
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