Paranoid Parrot

I can't eat from this plate The underside is dirty

I can't eat from this plate The underside is dirty  Paranoid Parrot

Browser has spellcheck BETTER copy to MS Word just to be sure before posting

Browser has spellcheck BETTER copy to MS Word just to be sure before posting  Paranoid Parrot

finger glides over wrong key when typing a password "Better start over"

finger glides over wrong key  when typing a password

Get in car late at night reach into back seat to make sure no one is waiting there

Get in car late at night reach into back seat to make sure no one is waiting there  Paranoid Parrot

Increase Military Spending! I think i heard something

Increase Military Spending!  I think i heard something   Paranoid Parrot

Goes to bathroom checks phone to make sure didn't pocket dial

Goes to bathroom checks phone to make sure didn't pocket dial  Paranoid Parrot

Reads overly attached girlfriend memes can't text boyfriend...might seem too attached

Reads overly attached girlfriend memes can't text boyfriend...might seem too attached  Paranoid Parrot

Receives oral Closely monitors partner to ensure she doesn't spit it into her vagina

Receives oral Closely monitors partner to ensure she doesn't spit it into her vagina  Paranoid Parrot

goes to use the bidet everyone in the house can hear me

goes to use the bidet everyone in the house can hear me  Paranoid Parrot

are you kidding meeeeee????????

are you kidding meeeeee????????  Paranoid Parrot
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