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Paranoid Parrot

Find a spider in bed Never sleep there again

Find a spider in bed Never sleep there again Paranoid Parrot
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Saw post about a safe Gotta know what's in it

Saw post about a safe Gotta know what's in it Paranoid Parrot
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Decides to pay in exact change recounts change ten times while in the queue

Decides to pay in exact change recounts change ten times while in the queue Paranoid Parrot
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Have to poop at work They'll know

Have to poop at work They'll know Paranoid Parrot
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nicknames everything he owns "crazy" to make extra sure that no one sticks their dick in it

nicknames everything he owns
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My post did poorly today It was awesome but team orangered still downvoted it so they win

My post did poorly today It was awesome but team orangered still downvoted it so they win Paranoid Parrot
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What if they extract my DNA from the toothpick and plant it in a Crime scene

What if they extract my DNA from the toothpick and plant it in a Crime scene Paranoid Parrot
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Texts friend Texts friend again if they don't respond within 5 minutes.

Texts friend Texts friend again if they don't respond within 5 minutes. Paranoid Parrot
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SONY? MICROSOFT? i dont trust any of you fuckers anymore

SONY? MICROSOFT? i dont trust any of you fuckers anymore Paranoid Parrot
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Reads post prefaced with LPT check if its from r/shittylifeprotips before reading

Reads post prefaced with LPT check if its from r/shittylifeprotips before reading Paranoid Parrot
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