Paranoid Parrot

Find a spider in bed Never sleep there again

Find a spider in bed Never sleep there again  Paranoid Parrot

Saw post about a safe Gotta know what's in it

Saw post about a safe Gotta know what's in it  Paranoid Parrot

Decides to pay in exact change recounts change ten times while in the queue

Decides to pay in exact change recounts change ten times while in the queue  Paranoid Parrot

Have to poop at work They'll know

Have to poop at work They'll know  Paranoid Parrot

nicknames everything he owns "crazy" to make extra sure that no one sticks their dick in it

nicknames everything he owns

My post did poorly today It was awesome but team orangered still downvoted it so they win

My post did poorly today It was awesome but team orangered still downvoted it so they win  Paranoid Parrot

What if they extract my DNA from the toothpick and plant it in a Crime scene

What if they extract my DNA from the toothpick  and plant it in a Crime scene  Paranoid Parrot

Texts friend Texts friend again if they don't respond within 5 minutes.

Texts friend Texts friend again if they don't respond within 5 minutes.  Paranoid Parrot

SONY? MICROSOFT? i dont trust any of you fuckers anymore

SONY? MICROSOFT? i dont trust any of you fuckers anymore  Paranoid Parrot

Reads post prefaced with LPT check if its from r/shittylifeprotips before reading

Reads post prefaced with LPT check if its from r/shittylifeprotips before reading  Paranoid Parrot
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