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Paranoid Parrot

girlfriend doesn't text back is getting gang-banged by a football team

girlfriend doesn't text back is getting gang-banged by a football team Paranoid Parrot
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Home alone still lock the door when i go to the bathroom

Home alone still lock the door when i go to the bathroom Paranoid Parrot
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leaves crunching in the distance jason vorhees

leaves crunching in the distance jason vorhees Paranoid Parrot
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cat sits on lap it wants to kill me

cat sits on lap it wants to kill me Paranoid Parrot
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Go into room flip light switch, light doesn't go on They've already cut the power!

Go into room flip light switch, light doesn't go on They've already cut the power! Paranoid Parrot
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see a picture of the world's largest spider crap, it's on me

see a picture of the world's largest spider crap, it's on me Paranoid Parrot
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Boss is hiring interns I'm getting replaced

Boss is hiring interns I'm getting replaced Paranoid Parrot
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Dorm makes noise at 3am ROBBERS

Dorm makes noise at 3am ROBBERS Paranoid Parrot
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take a giant dump before class keep smelling myself to make sure i dont smell like poop

take a giant dump before class keep smelling myself to make sure i dont smell like poop Paranoid Parrot
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Someone doesn't text back What if they died?!

Someone doesn't text back What if they died?! Paranoid Parrot
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