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Paranoid Parrot

Gets eye exam panics because unsure if A or b is better

Gets eye exam panics because unsure if A or b is better Paranoid Parrot
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put cigarette out half way through, & stick behind my ear check every 3 seconds to see if still burning

put cigarette out half way through, & stick behind my ear check every 3 seconds to see if still burning Paranoid Parrot
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Responds to an ad on craigslist, deletes "Sent from my ipad" out of the email They might rob me if they know i have nice things

Responds to an ad on craigslist, deletes
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GF hasn't messaged me she's landed yet Taken

GF hasn't messaged me she's landed yet Taken Paranoid Parrot
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Closes laptop lid before going for a bathroom break In case my cat walks on the keyboard, erases my work, and saves it

Closes laptop lid before going for a bathroom break In case my cat walks on the keyboard, erases my work, and saves it Paranoid Parrot
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Use siri to set an alarm immediately check to see if it worked

Use siri to set an alarm immediately check to see if it worked Paranoid Parrot
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flash high beams to alert approaching driver their lights are off Oh God, they're coming for my kidneys

flash high beams to alert approaching driver their lights are off Oh God, they're coming for my kidneys Paranoid Parrot
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All the subreddits Are going text only

All the subreddits Are going text only Paranoid Parrot
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Video chat with a guy I like better grab a breath mint

Video chat with a guy I like better grab a breath mint Paranoid Parrot
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awesome friend calls me awesome planning to harvest my kidneys

awesome friend calls me awesome planning to harvest my kidneys Paranoid Parrot
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