Paranoid Parrot

Gets eye exam panics because unsure if A or b is better

Gets eye exam panics because unsure if A or b is better  Paranoid Parrot

put cigarette out half way through, & stick behind my ear check every 3 seconds to see if still burning

put cigarette out half way through, & stick behind my ear check every 3 seconds to see if still burning   Paranoid Parrot

Responds to an ad on craigslist, deletes "Sent from my ipad" out of the email They might rob me if they know i have nice things

Responds to an ad on craigslist, deletes

GF hasn't messaged me she's landed yet Taken

GF hasn't messaged me she's landed yet Taken  Paranoid Parrot

Closes laptop lid before going for a bathroom break In case my cat walks on the keyboard, erases my work, and saves it

Closes laptop lid before going for a bathroom break In case my cat walks on the keyboard, erases my work, and saves it  Paranoid Parrot

Use siri to set an alarm immediately check to see if it worked

Use siri to set an alarm immediately check to see if it worked  Paranoid Parrot

flash high beams to alert approaching driver their lights are off Oh God, they're coming for my kidneys

flash high beams to alert approaching driver their lights are off Oh God, they're coming for my kidneys  Paranoid Parrot

All the subreddits Are going text only

All the subreddits Are going text only  Paranoid Parrot

Video chat with a guy I like better grab a breath mint

Video chat with a guy I like better grab a breath mint  Paranoid Parrot

awesome friend calls me awesome planning to harvest my kidneys

awesome friend calls me awesome planning to harvest my kidneys  Paranoid Parrot
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