Paranoid Parrot

stomach gurgles after drinking danville water i'm dying

stomach gurgles after drinking danville water i'm dying   Paranoid Parrot

Thinks post might make front page Makes alternate account so friends wont discover my failed posts

Thinks post might make front page Makes alternate account so friends wont discover my failed posts  Paranoid Parrot

Boss thanks team for a job well done I'm about to get fired

Boss thanks team for a job well done I'm about to get fired  Paranoid Parrot

takes adderall to study for exams spends 8 hours researching side effects

takes adderall to study for exams spends 8 hours researching side effects   Paranoid Parrot

clicks on bestiality pic that wasn't tagged going to jail

clicks on bestiality pic that wasn't tagged going to jail  Paranoid Parrot

Has a valid reason to miss work tomorrow (that has nothing to do with 4/20) Can't ask for day off - Boss might think i'm a stoner

Has a valid reason to miss work tomorrow (that has nothing to do with 4/20) Can't ask for day off - Boss might think i'm a stoner  Paranoid Parrot

Sit down on toilet at work, make big #2 look down at stall next to you, do I know those shoes? do they know mine??

Sit down on toilet at work, make big #2 look down at stall next to you, do I know those shoes?
do they know mine??  Paranoid Parrot

Crosses street Looks both ways twice

Crosses street Looks both ways twice  Paranoid Parrot

website updates automatically better hit refresh just in case

website updates automatically better hit refresh just in case  Paranoid Parrot

Wearing vans slip-ons on an escalator keep feet away from edges and high step at the end

Wearing vans slip-ons on an escalator keep feet away from edges and high step at the end  Paranoid Parrot
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