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Paranoid Parrot

stomach gurgles after drinking danville water i'm dying

stomach gurgles after drinking danville water i'm dying Paranoid Parrot
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Thinks post might make front page Makes alternate account so friends wont discover my failed posts

Thinks post might make front page Makes alternate account so friends wont discover my failed posts Paranoid Parrot
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Boss thanks team for a job well done I'm about to get fired

Boss thanks team for a job well done I'm about to get fired Paranoid Parrot
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takes adderall to study for exams spends 8 hours researching side effects

takes adderall to study for exams spends 8 hours researching side effects Paranoid Parrot
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clicks on bestiality pic that wasn't tagged going to jail

clicks on bestiality pic that wasn't tagged going to jail Paranoid Parrot
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Has a valid reason to miss work tomorrow (that has nothing to do with 4/20) Can't ask for day off - Boss might think i'm a stoner

Has a valid reason to miss work tomorrow (that has nothing to do with 4/20) Can't ask for day off - Boss might think i'm a stoner Paranoid Parrot
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Sit down on toilet at work, make big #2 look down at stall next to you, do I know those shoes? do they know mine??

Sit down on toilet at work, make big #2 look down at stall next to you, do I know those shoes? do they know mine?? Paranoid Parrot
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Crosses street Looks both ways twice

Crosses street Looks both ways twice Paranoid Parrot
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website updates automatically better hit refresh just in case

website updates automatically better hit refresh just in case Paranoid Parrot
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Wearing vans slip-ons on an escalator keep feet away from edges and high step at the end

Wearing vans slip-ons on an escalator keep feet away from edges and high step at the end Paranoid Parrot
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