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Paranoid Parrot

Finish Masturbating Check Facebook to make sure no one knows

Finish Masturbating Check Facebook to make sure no one knows Paranoid Parrot
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brushing teeth with electric toothbrush in bathroom with door closed Housemates think i'm masturbating

brushing teeth with electric toothbrush in bathroom with door closed Housemates think i'm masturbating Paranoid Parrot
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Pokemon lost 5 HP in the last battle Better head to a pokemon center

Pokemon lost 5 HP in the last battle Better head to a pokemon center Paranoid Parrot
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Ate food at party but wants seconds Everyone will notice me getting more

Ate food at party but wants seconds Everyone will notice me getting more Paranoid Parrot
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Hears a noise at night Writes his will

Hears a noise at night Writes his will Paranoid Parrot
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Feel sick, Google symptoms OH god I have cancer

Feel sick, Google symptoms OH god I have cancer Paranoid Parrot
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Cop is behind me in a traffic jam He's running my plates

Cop is behind me in a traffic jam He's running my plates Paranoid Parrot
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I wasn't signaling for a hit. I can't find the salt shaker and there was some scattered on the felt. Have you seen my lost shaker of salt?

I wasn't signaling for a hit. I can't find the salt shaker and there was some scattered on the felt. Have you seen my lost shaker of salt? Paranoid Parrot
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Hears Aircraft getting louder It's going to crash into my house

Hears Aircraft getting louder It's going to crash into my house Paranoid Parrot
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9:00 p.m.: POSTING FUNNY STATUS ON FACEBOOK 9:03 p.m.: still no reaction from anybody Deletes status and swears never to try being funny again

9:00 p.m.: POSTING FUNNY STATUS ON FACEBOOK 9:03 p.m.: still no reaction from anybody Deletes status and swears never to try being funny again Paranoid Parrot
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