Paranoid Parrot

Finish Masturbating Check Facebook to make sure no one knows

Finish Masturbating  Check Facebook to make sure no one knows  Paranoid Parrot

brushing teeth with electric toothbrush in bathroom with door closed Housemates think i'm masturbating

brushing teeth with electric toothbrush in bathroom with door closed Housemates think i'm masturbating  Paranoid Parrot

Pokemon lost 5 HP in the last battle Better head to a pokemon center

Pokemon lost 5 HP in the last battle Better head to a pokemon center  Paranoid Parrot

Ate food at party but wants seconds Everyone will notice me getting more

Ate food at party but wants seconds Everyone will notice me getting more  Paranoid Parrot

Hears a noise at night Writes his will

Hears a noise at night Writes his will  Paranoid Parrot

Feel sick, Google symptoms OH god I have cancer

Feel sick, Google symptoms OH god I have cancer  Paranoid Parrot

Cop is behind me in a traffic jam He's running my plates

Cop is behind me in a traffic jam He's running my plates  Paranoid Parrot

I wasn't signaling for a hit. I can't find the salt shaker and there was some scattered on the felt. Have you seen my lost shaker of salt?

I wasn't signaling for a hit. I can't find the salt shaker and there was some scattered on the felt. Have you seen my lost shaker of salt?  Paranoid Parrot

Hears Aircraft getting louder It's going to crash into my house

Hears Aircraft getting louder It's going to crash into my house  Paranoid Parrot

9:00 p.m.: POSTING FUNNY STATUS ON FACEBOOK 9:03 p.m.: still no reaction from anybody Deletes status and swears never to try being funny again

9:00 p.m.: POSTING FUNNY STATUS ON FACEBOOK
9:03 p.m.: still no reaction from anybody Deletes status and swears never to try being funny again  Paranoid Parrot
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