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Paranoid Parrot

watches Jurassic park Checks behind shower curtain for raptors before using bathroom

watches Jurassic park Checks behind shower curtain for raptors before using bathroom Paranoid Parrot
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Finds sisters bra in the bathroom Doesn't take a picture with it on because she might have a reddit account

Finds sisters bra in the bathroom Doesn't take a picture with it on because she might have a reddit account Paranoid Parrot
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Girl Says she likes my hat she hates my hat

Girl Says she likes my hat she hates my hat Paranoid Parrot
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Sent a text to my boyfriend 1 minute ago why isn't he replying?!

Sent a text to my boyfriend 1 minute ago why isn't he replying?! Paranoid Parrot
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has a glass of wine doesn't drive for a week

has a glass of wine doesn't drive for a week Paranoid Parrot
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Gets a ghost wipe better wipe again just in case.

Gets a ghost wipe better wipe again just in case. Paranoid Parrot
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cough once everyone knows i'm high

cough once everyone knows i'm high Paranoid Parrot
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Throat a little dry in the morning i've got the plague

Throat a little dry in the morning i've got the plague Paranoid Parrot
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Eat cookie dough Spend hours looking up signs of salmonella

Eat cookie dough Spend hours looking up signs of salmonella Paranoid Parrot
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Cops at the door? try not to look like a cop!

Cops at the door? try not to look like a cop! Paranoid Parrot
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