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Paranoid Parrot

First day at new job Sets alarm on three different devices just in case two of them fail

First day at new job Sets alarm on three different devices just in case two of them fail Paranoid Parrot
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TWAT did you say? I cunt hear you when ur in the kitchen?

TWAT did you say? I cunt hear you when ur in the kitchen? Paranoid Parrot
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check if the iron is off before leaving home check once again... and again

check if the iron is off before leaving home check once again... and again Paranoid Parrot
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someone gives me a compliment try to figure out if they meant it for the next hour

someone gives me a compliment try to figure out if they meant it for the next hour Paranoid Parrot
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cough going around it's captain trips

cough going around it's captain trips Paranoid Parrot
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sit near clock in class everyone keeps looking at me

sit near clock in class everyone keeps looking at me Paranoid Parrot
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Accidentally click unlock button on keys while very far from vehicle They're going to steal my car

Accidentally click unlock button on keys while very far from vehicle They're going to steal my car Paranoid Parrot
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Hears sirens Oh shit, my apartment must be on fire

Hears sirens Oh shit, my apartment must be on fire Paranoid Parrot
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Crossing One-Way Street Check both ways

Crossing One-Way Street Check both ways Paranoid Parrot
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take a piss check zipper every time a hot girl walks by

take a piss check zipper every time a hot girl walks by Paranoid Parrot
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