Paranoid Parrot

First day at new job Sets alarm on three different devices just in case two of them fail

First day at new job Sets alarm on three different devices just in case two of them fail  Paranoid Parrot

TWAT did you say? I cunt hear you when ur in the kitchen?

TWAT did you say? I cunt hear you when ur in the kitchen?  Paranoid Parrot

check if the iron is off before leaving home check once again... and again

check if the iron is off before leaving home check once again... and again  Paranoid Parrot

someone gives me a compliment try to figure out if they meant it for the next hour

someone gives me a compliment try to figure out if they meant it for the next hour  Paranoid Parrot

cough going around it's captain trips

cough going around it's captain trips  Paranoid Parrot

sit near clock in class everyone keeps looking at me

sit near clock in class everyone keeps looking at me  Paranoid Parrot

Accidentally click unlock button on keys while very far from vehicle They're going to steal my car

Accidentally click unlock button on keys while very far from vehicle They're going to steal my car  Paranoid Parrot

Hears sirens Oh shit, my apartment must be on fire

Hears sirens Oh shit, my apartment must be on fire  Paranoid Parrot

Crossing One-Way Street Check both ways

Crossing One-Way Street Check both ways  Paranoid Parrot

take a piss check zipper every time a hot girl walks by

take a piss check zipper every time a hot girl walks by  Paranoid Parrot
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