Paranoid Parrot

walk into dining hall stoned everyone knows

walk into dining hall stoned everyone knows  Paranoid Parrot

Find Roommate's username on Reddit Read all of his comments to see if any are about me

Find Roommate's username on Reddit Read all of his comments to see if any are about me  Paranoid Parrot

opens mirrored medicine cabinet ready to stab the person that will undoubtedly appear behind you when cabinet door is closed with toothbrush

opens mirrored medicine cabinet ready to stab the person that will undoubtedly appear behind you when cabinet door is closed with toothbrush   Paranoid Parrot

Mom says, "I could see you with an asian woman" Oh god, my browser history

Mom says,

don't stay in the bathroom too long THEY will think your masturbating.

don't stay in the bathroom too long THEY will think your masturbating.  Paranoid Parrot

Sees Socially awkward penguin think it was inspired by himself

Sees Socially awkward penguin think it was inspired by himself  Paranoid Parrot

Wrong number Rapist calling to see if i'm home alone

Wrong number Rapist calling to see if i'm home alone  Paranoid Parrot

watch the shining read everything backwards just to check

watch the shining read everything backwards just to check  Paranoid Parrot

Transferring to Platteville Too Many Explosions in Whitewater

Transferring to Platteville Too Many Explosions in Whitewater  Paranoid Parrot

Fluoride in water the governments trying to kill us

Fluoride in water the governments trying to kill us  Paranoid Parrot
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