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Paranoid Parrot

Sees post about backstabbing friends automatically thinks its you

Sees post about backstabbing friends automatically thinks its you Paranoid Parrot
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Text Dealer, Doesn't Text Back Never scoring weed again

Text Dealer, Doesn't Text Back Never scoring weed again Paranoid Parrot
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Door randomly slams on third floor of clamer GHOST

Door randomly slams on third floor of clamer GHOST Paranoid Parrot
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Small Cyst or Tissue bump in collar bone Web MD says AIDS.

Small Cyst or Tissue bump in collar bone Web MD says AIDS. Paranoid Parrot
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Receive innocuous reply to Craigslist posting Immediately run background check

Receive innocuous reply to Craigslist posting Immediately run background check Paranoid Parrot
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accidentally make fart noise with a chair quickly do it again to prove it wasn't a fart

accidentally make fart noise with a chair quickly do it again to prove it wasn't a fart Paranoid Parrot
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Watched contagion Never touch anyone or anything ever again

Watched contagion Never touch anyone or anything ever again Paranoid Parrot
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DIES

DIES Paranoid Parrot
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Mom sends an "I love you" text Assumes She is testing all 4 kids to see who responds the fastest

Mom sends an
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watch "human centipad" episode of southpark don't update itunes for months

watch
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