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Paranoid Parrot

plane starting descent Nosedive

plane starting descent Nosedive Paranoid Parrot
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Sees AMA about guy not pooping for 2 weeks I'm Constipated

Sees AMA about guy not pooping for 2 weeks I'm Constipated Paranoid Parrot
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Goes to pee in urinal Someone else comes in Flush and leave without peeing

Goes to pee in urinal Someone else comes in Flush and leave without peeing Paranoid Parrot
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See list of Reddit accounts being used to game the system Ctrl-F all your usernames and hope they don't notice that one time you upvoted your submission 3 times

See list of Reddit accounts being used to game the system Ctrl-F all your usernames and hope they don't notice that one time you upvoted your submission 3 times Paranoid Parrot
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missed call. boss's number I'm fired

missed call. boss's number I'm fired Paranoid Parrot
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Uses condom and spermicidal lubricant Pulls out

Uses condom and spermicidal lubricant Pulls out Paranoid Parrot
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post isn't getting upvotes or downvotes posts something terrible to check if Reddit's working

post isn't getting upvotes or downvotes posts something terrible to check if Reddit's working Paranoid Parrot
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Power Went out assumes government is aware of my anti-cispa activity

Power Went out assumes government is aware of my anti-cispa activity Paranoid Parrot
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sees that someones listening to spotify with them instantly checks library for embarrassing songs

sees that someones listening to spotify with them instantly checks library for embarrassing songs Paranoid Parrot
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girl doesn't respond to my text she hates me

girl doesn't respond to my text she hates me Paranoid Parrot
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