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Paranoid Parrot

came to class high everyone knows

came to class high everyone knows Paranoid Parrot
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FINISHES TEST FIRST OH GOD, I PROBABLY FAILED

FINISHES TEST FIRST OH GOD, I PROBABLY FAILED Paranoid Parrot
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scroll through cute girl's facebook pictures scroll back to make sure you didn't accidentally "like" one of them

scroll through cute girl's facebook pictures scroll back to make sure you didn't accidentally
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Get a cough throat cancer

Get a cough throat cancer Paranoid Parrot
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The car behind you makes the same last two turns as you Oh God. They're going to murder me when I get home. Evasive Action

The car behind you makes the same last two turns as you Oh God. They're going to murder me when I get home. Evasive Action Paranoid Parrot
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Someone Commented on my post!? Better reply to them before they change their upvote to a downvote. No matter how stupid I sound.

Someone Commented on my post!? Better reply to them before they change their upvote to a downvote. No matter how stupid I sound. Paranoid Parrot
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refuses to 'masturbate' thinks it is a way for his master to bait him into sin

refuses to 'masturbate' thinks it is a way for his master to bait him into sin Paranoid Parrot
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pooping on public toilet, water splashes up instant aids

pooping on public toilet, water splashes up instant aids Paranoid Parrot
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Has morning Path Lecture with Dr. T Does not look at the stage for the first 20 mins.

Has morning Path Lecture with Dr. T Does not look at the stage for the first 20 mins. Paranoid Parrot
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Gets random text from wife saying " I love you" What's wrong? why did you send that?

Gets random text from wife saying
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