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Paranoid Parrot

Go to the bathroom lock the door just in case

Go to the bathroom lock the door just in case Paranoid Parrot
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takes girl 15 minutes to text back she's having sex with your best friend

takes girl 15 minutes to text back she's having sex with your best friend Paranoid Parrot
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shes not at school today she died.

shes not at school today she died. Paranoid Parrot
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friends coming over create guest account on computer

friends coming over create guest account on computer Paranoid Parrot
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set alarm for 3:30 a.m. to clear web history for tenth time just in case

set alarm for 3:30 a.m. to clear web history for tenth time just in case Paranoid Parrot
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gets honked at oh god I ran someone over

gets honked at oh god I ran someone over Paranoid Parrot
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room full of strangers at a party scan room for all potential weapons in case of emergency

room full of strangers at a party scan room for all potential weapons in case of emergency Paranoid Parrot
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oh great who did i piss off now

oh great who did i piss off now Paranoid Parrot
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buy condoms, pregnancy test, enema, and gatorade why did the casher fist bump me?

buy condoms, pregnancy test, enema, and gatorade why did the casher fist bump me? Paranoid Parrot
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Premises post with "downvote away but..." posts something legitimately cool or interesting

Premises post with
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