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Paranoid Parrot

See a white van They are going to kidnap me

See a white van They are going to kidnap me Paranoid Parrot
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soon to meet irl panic, delete every single online account

soon to meet irl panic, delete every single online account Paranoid Parrot
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accidently touch someone's butt in other lane Oh, god sexual harassment

accidently touch someone's butt in other lane Oh, god sexual harassment Paranoid Parrot
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SEE SPIDER RUN UNDER PILLOW DIDN'T NEED SLEEP ANYWAY

SEE SPIDER RUN UNDER PILLOW DIDN'T NEED SLEEP ANYWAY Paranoid Parrot
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open chrome once to browse reddit run six virus scans of entire system

open chrome once to browse reddit run six virus scans of entire system Paranoid Parrot
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i like lolicon everyone thinks i'm a pedophile

i like lolicon everyone thinks i'm a pedophile Paranoid Parrot
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makes biology pick-up line and girl likes it says it's meant for her, but she had a BF....shit DELETE

makes biology pick-up line and girl likes it says it's meant for her, but she had a BF....shit DELETE Paranoid Parrot
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261 shares

Think of an advice animal read every other one to make sure it isn't a repost

Think of an advice animal read every other one to make sure it isn't a repost Paranoid Parrot
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I don't Understand how this works Better get an engineering degree

I don't Understand how this works Better get an engineering degree Paranoid Parrot
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GIRLFRIEND HAS NOT PICKED UP PHONE or texted IN 24 HOURS SHE IS IN THE E.R./DEAD/IS MAD AT ME/CHEATED ON ME/HATES ME/got KIDNAPPED AND GANG RAPED/is now annoyed that i have called her every 45 seconds for the past hour

GIRLFRIEND HAS NOT PICKED UP PHONE or texted IN 24 HOURS SHE IS IN THE E.R./DEAD/IS MAD AT ME/CHEATED ON ME/HATES ME/got KIDNAPPED AND GANG RAPED/is now annoyed that i have called her every 45 seconds for the past hour Paranoid Parrot
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