Paranoid Parrot

girlfriend says she feels sick oh god she's pregnant

girlfriend says she feels sick oh god she's pregnant  Paranoid Parrot

Something in the room smells bad it's probably me

Something in the room smells bad it's probably me  Paranoid Parrot

FB-stalked crush crush put up the status: "no more stalkers, please."

FB-stalked crush crush put up the status:

texting in class, professor looks in your general direction he knows

texting in class, professor looks in your general direction he knows  Paranoid Parrot

Hears a hurricane is coming stocks up on zombie supplies

Hears a hurricane is coming stocks up on zombie supplies  Paranoid Parrot

smoke detector light blinks government surveillance camera

smoke detector light blinks government surveillance camera  Paranoid Parrot

Given two kittens They don't like me

Given two kittens They don't like me  Paranoid Parrot

Red substance on hand HIV+ Blood

Red substance on hand HIV+ Blood  Paranoid Parrot

Hit lock button on keychain hit two more times just to be safe

Hit lock button on keychain hit two more times just to be safe  Paranoid Parrot

"You wanna come over to my place?" I'm getting friend-zoned

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