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Paranoid Parrot

girlfriend says she feels sick oh god she's pregnant

girlfriend says she feels sick oh god she's pregnant Paranoid Parrot
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Something in the room smells bad it's probably me

Something in the room smells bad it's probably me Paranoid Parrot
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FB-stalked crush crush put up the status: "no more stalkers, please."

FB-stalked crush crush put up the status:
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texting in class, professor looks in your general direction he knows

texting in class, professor looks in your general direction he knows Paranoid Parrot
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Hears a hurricane is coming stocks up on zombie supplies

Hears a hurricane is coming stocks up on zombie supplies Paranoid Parrot
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smoke detector light blinks government surveillance camera

smoke detector light blinks government surveillance camera Paranoid Parrot
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Given two kittens They don't like me

Given two kittens They don't like me Paranoid Parrot
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Red substance on hand HIV+ Blood

Red substance on hand HIV+ Blood Paranoid Parrot
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Hit lock button on keychain hit two more times just to be safe

Hit lock button on keychain hit two more times just to be safe Paranoid Parrot
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"You wanna come over to my place?" I'm getting friend-zoned
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