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Paranoid Parrot

mom, dad, i've decided i'm joining the jamaican bobsled team

mom, dad, i've decided i'm joining the jamaican bobsled team Paranoid Parrot
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Lightning flashes outside window "someone just took a picture of me with flash"

Lightning flashes outside window
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Half roll left in public bathroom look for spare roll in case of epic poop

Half roll left in public bathroom look for spare roll in case of epic poop Paranoid Parrot
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Sees slightly red liquid on ground AIDS Blood

Sees slightly red liquid on ground AIDS Blood Paranoid Parrot
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Incorrect password So this is how they fire me

Incorrect password So this is how they fire me Paranoid Parrot
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go out of town for 3 days all your friends gangbanged your girlfriend

go out of town for 3 days all your friends gangbanged your girlfriend Paranoid Parrot
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check Alarm clock when it shows 12:00 stare at clock until it changes

check Alarm clock when it shows 12:00 stare at clock until it changes Paranoid Parrot
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About to sit exam take battery out of phone just in case

About to sit exam take battery out of phone just in case Paranoid Parrot
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Shoot one bullet Reload!

Shoot one bullet Reload! Paranoid Parrot
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Forgot to make a meme for your birthday you hate me now

Forgot to make a meme for your birthday you hate me now Paranoid Parrot
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