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Paranoid Parrot

walks sidewalk stoned, hears a police serine "FUCK"

walks sidewalk stoned, hears a police serine
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Ends phone conversation hits the hang up button about 5 times to be sure noone is listening anymore

Ends phone conversation hits the hang up button about 5 times to be sure noone is listening anymore Paranoid Parrot
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offer for reciprocation too vague he thinks I want to blow him

offer for reciprocation too vague he thinks I want to blow him Paranoid Parrot
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Takes a week's vacation They'll realize I'm useless and fire me when I return

Takes a week's vacation They'll realize I'm useless and fire me when I return Paranoid Parrot
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isn't sure if his meme is funny deletes it

isn't sure if his meme is funny deletes it Paranoid Parrot
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Hears Car honking in the distance "What did I do wrong?"

Hears Car honking in the distance
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Double-checks for male icon on public bathroom door still relieved to see urinals

Double-checks for male icon on public bathroom door still relieved to see urinals Paranoid Parrot
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leave the house walk back and check if it's locked

leave the house walk back and check if it's locked Paranoid Parrot
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cooked on stove 5 hrs before leaving the apt & Checked it before leaving did I turn it off? omg i burned my building down

cooked on stove 5 hrs before leaving the apt & Checked it before leaving did I turn it off? omg i burned my building down Paranoid Parrot
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Boss doesn't say good morning I'm going to be fired

Boss doesn't say good morning I'm going to be fired Paranoid Parrot
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