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Paranoid Parrot

They're all going to laugh at me.

They're all going to laugh at me. Paranoid Parrot
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Roomate drops shampoo bottle in the shower He's Dead.

Roomate drops shampoo bottle in the shower He's Dead. Paranoid Parrot
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My friend has 6 locks on her door. She said her theory is to only lock 3. That way, if a thief tries to pick the locks, he'll always be locking three of them no matter how he does it.

My friend has 6 locks on her door. She said her theory is to only lock 3. That way, if a thief tries to pick the locks, he'll always be locking three of them no matter how he does it. Paranoid Parrot
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pull into grocery store parking lot count money nine times to make sure you have enough

pull into grocery store parking lot count money nine times to make sure you have enough Paranoid Parrot
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Talking bad about someone check phone in case i rang them

Talking bad about someone check phone in case i rang them Paranoid Parrot
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Constipated? Colon Cancer

Constipated? Colon Cancer Paranoid Parrot
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Using oral birth control, condoms, and he's pulling out Better take a pregnancy test just to be sure.

Using oral birth control, condoms, and he's pulling out Better take a pregnancy test just to be sure. Paranoid Parrot
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listening to music with headphones on in public will check if other people can here it after every song

listening to music with headphones on in public will check if other people can here it after every song Paranoid Parrot
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Wants to upvote funny meme about something illegal Can't do it; they will know I did it too

Wants to upvote funny meme about something illegal Can't do it; they will know I did it too Paranoid Parrot
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Fire alarm goes off while cooking checks every room in house just in case

Fire alarm goes off while cooking checks every room in house just in case Paranoid Parrot
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216 shares

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