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Paranoid Parrot

i should say excuse me since they didn't hear me sneeze

i should say excuse me since they didn't hear me sneeze Paranoid Parrot
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accidentally looks in to securtiy camera They think i'm a shoplifter

accidentally looks in to securtiy camera They think i'm a shoplifter Paranoid Parrot
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Uses 2-step/phone verification Phone dies

Uses 2-step/phone verification Phone dies Paranoid Parrot
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Sees girl in a sorority immediately run the fuck away

Sees girl in a sorority immediately run the fuck away Paranoid Parrot
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Boyfriend hasnt't texted me back in 4 hours HE'S DEAD

Boyfriend hasnt't texted me back in 4 hours HE'S DEAD Paranoid Parrot
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she said she was my girlfriend... but she was prolly drunk.

she said she was my girlfriend... but she was prolly drunk. Paranoid Parrot
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supervisor scheduled a one-on-one for tomorrow I'm getting fired

supervisor scheduled a one-on-one for tomorrow I'm getting fired Paranoid Parrot
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throws out pirated dvds scratches and breaks them into pieces first

throws out pirated dvds scratches and breaks them into pieces first Paranoid Parrot
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Received unexpected package in mail Anthrax

Received unexpected package in mail Anthrax Paranoid Parrot
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Boyfriend kisses me at parent's house immediately look over shoulder

Boyfriend kisses me at parent's house immediately look over shoulder Paranoid Parrot
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