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Paranoid Parrot

Submit a funny advice animal doesnt get upvoted...maybe everyone died

Submit a funny advice animal doesnt get upvoted...maybe everyone died Paranoid Parrot
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"if you can hear me thinking, cough." someone sneezes
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Browses r/WTF Deletes history afterwards

Browses r/WTF Deletes history afterwards Paranoid Parrot
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washes up very quickly in the shower don't want people to think i was fapping.

washes up very quickly in the shower don't want people to think i was fapping. Paranoid Parrot
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Have headphones on Keep taking them off to make sure it's not loud enough for people to hear noise because it's to damn loud

Have headphones on Keep taking them off to make sure it's not loud enough for people to hear noise because it's to damn loud Paranoid Parrot
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sees pubes on the toilet seat i have cancer

sees pubes on the toilet seat i have cancer Paranoid Parrot
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Just got a professional car wash Don't roll the windows down don't roll the windows down don't roll the windows down

Just got a professional car wash Don't roll the windows down don't roll the windows down don't roll the windows down Paranoid Parrot
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park and lock car walk a few meters, return to check if i locked car

park and lock car walk a few meters, return to check if i locked car Paranoid Parrot
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needs to pee at night brings fire poker

needs to pee at night brings fire poker Paranoid Parrot
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still a virgin took a pregnancy test

still a virgin took a pregnancy test Paranoid Parrot
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