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Paranoid Parrot

phone rings omg i will die in seven days!

phone rings omg i will die in seven days! Paranoid Parrot
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phone dies in the middle of the day oh my god i'm gonna get kidnapped

phone dies in the middle of the day oh my god i'm gonna get kidnapped Paranoid Parrot
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remembers funny sex joke from 5th grade. laughs. immediately makes appointment with psychoanalyst.

remembers funny sex joke from 5th grade. laughs. immediately makes appointment with psychoanalyst. Paranoid Parrot
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it's light outside i must have overslept my alarm

it's light outside i must have overslept my alarm Paranoid Parrot
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Signs out of reddit account before before browsing /r/gonewild Just in case

Signs out of reddit account before before browsing /r/gonewild Just in case Paranoid Parrot
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crush goes offline as soon as i get on they hate me

crush goes offline as soon as i get on they hate me Paranoid Parrot
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positive laptop is muted plugs in headphones anyways

positive laptop is muted plugs in headphones anyways Paranoid Parrot
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Sit in silent library with laptop play music with earbuds out of ears to make sure music isn't playing out speakers

Sit in silent library with laptop play music with earbuds out of ears to make sure music isn't playing out speakers Paranoid Parrot
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Makes pedobear meme "oh god, im going to jail"

Makes pedobear meme
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See spider crawl away from shoes Must have laid eggs in them

See spider crawl away from shoes Must have laid eggs in them Paranoid Parrot
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