Paranoid Parrot

phone rings omg i will die in seven days!

phone rings omg i will die in seven days!  Paranoid Parrot

phone dies in the middle of the day oh my god i'm gonna get kidnapped

phone dies in the middle of the day oh my god i'm gonna get kidnapped   Paranoid Parrot

remembers funny sex joke from 5th grade. laughs. immediately makes appointment with psychoanalyst.

remembers funny sex joke from 5th grade. laughs. immediately makes appointment with psychoanalyst.  Paranoid Parrot

it's light outside i must have overslept my alarm

it's light outside i must have overslept my alarm  Paranoid Parrot

Signs out of reddit account before before browsing /r/gonewild Just in case

Signs out of reddit account before before browsing /r/gonewild Just in case  Paranoid Parrot

crush goes offline as soon as i get on they hate me

crush goes offline as soon as i get on they hate me  Paranoid Parrot

positive laptop is muted plugs in headphones anyways

positive laptop is muted plugs in headphones anyways  Paranoid Parrot

Sit in silent library with laptop play music with earbuds out of ears to make sure music isn't playing out speakers

Sit in silent library with laptop play music with earbuds out of ears to make sure music isn't playing out speakers  Paranoid Parrot

Makes pedobear meme "oh god, im going to jail"

Makes pedobear meme

See spider crawl away from shoes Must have laid eggs in them

See spider crawl away from shoes Must have laid eggs in them  Paranoid Parrot
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