Paranoid Parrot

home alone turn on all the lights

home alone turn on all the lights  Paranoid Parrot

looks up attractive person on facebook "dear god i made their name my status instead!"

looks up attractive person on facebook

Sprint across every street at top speed even the empty ones

Sprint across every street at top speed even the empty ones  Paranoid Parrot

playing minecraft on peaceful still looks around for creepers while i'm working

playing minecraft on peaceful still looks around for creepers while i'm working  Paranoid Parrot

Boss wants to talk to me about "something important". I fucked up something and i'm fired.

Boss wants to talk to me about

Hears honking outside home Looks out window to see if car rolled into street

Hears honking outside home Looks out window to see if car rolled into street  Paranoid Parrot

Have to poop Must have norovirus

Have to poop Must have norovirus  Paranoid Parrot

Cough when buying cough syrup so cashier doesn't think you are buying it for robotripping

Cough when buying cough syrup so cashier doesn't think you are buying it for robotripping  Paranoid Parrot

Hears a knock at the door "it's a cso! hide!

Hears a knock at the door

Girl on Bus checks her text message "she must be secretly filming me"

Girl on Bus checks her text message
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