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Paranoid Parrot

Pull back shower curtain before going to the bathroom Just to make sure that there isn't a serial killer.

Pull back shower curtain before going to the bathroom Just to make sure that there isn't a serial killer. Paranoid Parrot
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Slightest dampness period must be 2 weeks early

Slightest dampness period must be 2 weeks early Paranoid Parrot
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Finishes final paper for capstone in less time with less stress than expected Must have fucked it up, can't possibly graduate and will now be homeless

Finishes final paper for capstone in less time with less stress than expected Must have fucked it up, can't possibly graduate and will now be homeless Paranoid Parrot
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gas leak at the petrol station I'm going to die!

gas leak at the petrol station I'm going to die! Paranoid Parrot
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was about to post my thoughts online was afraid the NSA would use it against me and deny my greencard renewal

was about to post my thoughts online was afraid the NSA would use it against me and deny my greencard renewal Paranoid Parrot
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Blasts music while home alone Turns it down in case people outside can hear it

Blasts music while home alone Turns it down in case people outside can hear it Paranoid Parrot
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Manually turn volume down to zero Mute it anyway

Manually turn volume down to zero Mute it anyway Paranoid Parrot
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doorbell rings didn't order something - better pretend not to be at home

doorbell rings didn't order something - better pretend not to be at home Paranoid Parrot
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finishes math exam early calculates every problem again

finishes math exam early calculates every problem again Paranoid Parrot
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About to fap point webcam at the wall

About to fap point webcam at the wall Paranoid Parrot
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