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Paranoid Parrot

Best friend dies three states away on a road trip Suspect

Best friend dies three states away on a road trip Suspect Paranoid Parrot
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get job at CIA counter intelligence spontaneously combust

get job at CIA counter intelligence spontaneously combust Paranoid Parrot
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Fart alone in car Swear it's noticeable a week later

Fart alone in car Swear it's noticeable a week later Paranoid Parrot
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no one follows you on tumblr Life is over

no one follows you on tumblr Life is over Paranoid Parrot
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Friend types 'bomb' in a chat while you're on a plane. You are about to get tackled.

Friend types 'bomb' in a chat while you're on a plane. You are about to get tackled. Paranoid Parrot
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home alone, fridge makes a noise call 911

home alone, fridge makes a noise call 911 Paranoid Parrot
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sudden coughing fit SLENDERMAN

sudden coughing fit SLENDERMAN Paranoid Parrot
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Monkey looked at me ebola

Monkey looked at me ebola Paranoid Parrot
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FINISHED FAPPING CHECKS FACEBOOK PROFILE TO SEE IF ANYTHING WAS ACCIDENTALLY LIKED

FINISHED FAPPING CHECKS FACEBOOK PROFILE TO SEE IF ANYTHING WAS ACCIDENTALLY LIKED Paranoid Parrot
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Needs to write down number someone said on voicemail message spends next 20 minutes listening to the message, just to make sure the number's right

Needs to write down number someone said on voicemail message spends next 20 minutes listening to the message, just to make sure the number's right Paranoid Parrot
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