Paranoid Parrot

Best friend dies three states away on a road trip Suspect

Best friend dies three states away on a road trip Suspect  Paranoid Parrot

get job at CIA counter intelligence spontaneously combust

get job at CIA counter intelligence spontaneously combust  Paranoid Parrot

Fart alone in car Swear it's noticeable a week later

Fart alone in car Swear it's noticeable a week later  Paranoid Parrot

no one follows you on tumblr Life is over

no one follows you on tumblr Life is over   Paranoid Parrot

Friend types 'bomb' in a chat while you're on a plane. You are about to get tackled.

Friend types 'bomb' in a chat while you're on a plane. You are about to get tackled.  Paranoid Parrot

home alone, fridge makes a noise call 911

home alone, fridge makes a noise call 911  Paranoid Parrot

sudden coughing fit SLENDERMAN

sudden coughing fit SLENDERMAN  Paranoid Parrot

Monkey looked at me ebola

Monkey looked at me ebola  Paranoid Parrot

FINISHED FAPPING CHECKS FACEBOOK PROFILE TO SEE IF ANYTHING WAS ACCIDENTALLY LIKED

FINISHED FAPPING CHECKS FACEBOOK PROFILE TO SEE IF ANYTHING WAS ACCIDENTALLY LIKED  Paranoid Parrot

Needs to write down number someone said on voicemail message spends next 20 minutes listening to the message, just to make sure the number's right

Needs to write down number someone said on voicemail message spends next 20 minutes listening to the message, just to make sure the number's right  Paranoid Parrot
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