Paranoid Parrot

Goes to the movies Turns volume all the way down on phone, then mutes it

Goes to the movies Turns volume all the way down on phone, then mutes it  Paranoid Parrot

GIRLFRIEND GETS SICK SHE MUST BE PREGNANT

GIRLFRIEND GETS SICK SHE MUST BE PREGNANT  Paranoid Parrot

Working out at the gym Never looks at self in the mirror, so he doesn't seem like a huge douche

Working out at the gym Never looks at self in the mirror, so he doesn't seem like a huge douche  Paranoid Parrot

TRIPS WHILE WALKING Looks around to see if anyone was looking

TRIPS WHILE WALKING Looks around to see if anyone was looking   Paranoid Parrot

Spots NSFW tag Clicks link and every link around it to seem as though just casual browsing

Spots NSFW tag Clicks link and every link around it to seem as though just casual browsing  Paranoid Parrot

Sees a new socially awkward penguin pic "someone is following me and my life"

Sees a new socially awkward penguin pic

Enemy team picks Jarvan IV It's Kyle and I'm going to lose

Enemy team picks Jarvan IV It's Kyle and I'm going to lose  Paranoid Parrot

Pees at a urinal and hears a splash OMG, I'M PISSING ON MY PANTs

Pees at a urinal and hears a splash OMG, I'M PISSING ON MY PANTs  Paranoid Parrot

notice large garbage bag dumped along the road "it must be a dead body!"

notice large garbage bag dumped along the road

watches The Truman Show "I knew it!"

watches The Truman Show
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