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Paranoid Parrot

Goes to the movies Turns volume all the way down on phone, then mutes it

Goes to the movies Turns volume all the way down on phone, then mutes it Paranoid Parrot
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GIRLFRIEND GETS SICK SHE MUST BE PREGNANT

GIRLFRIEND GETS SICK SHE MUST BE PREGNANT Paranoid Parrot
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Working out at the gym Never looks at self in the mirror, so he doesn't seem like a huge douche

Working out at the gym Never looks at self in the mirror, so he doesn't seem like a huge douche Paranoid Parrot
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TRIPS WHILE WALKING Looks around to see if anyone was looking

TRIPS WHILE WALKING Looks around to see if anyone was looking Paranoid Parrot
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Spots NSFW tag Clicks link and every link around it to seem as though just casual browsing

Spots NSFW tag Clicks link and every link around it to seem as though just casual browsing Paranoid Parrot
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Sees a new socially awkward penguin pic "someone is following me and my life"

Sees a new socially awkward penguin pic
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Enemy team picks Jarvan IV It's Kyle and I'm going to lose

Enemy team picks Jarvan IV It's Kyle and I'm going to lose Paranoid Parrot
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Pees at a urinal and hears a splash OMG, I'M PISSING ON MY PANTs

Pees at a urinal and hears a splash OMG, I'M PISSING ON MY PANTs Paranoid Parrot
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notice large garbage bag dumped along the road "it must be a dead body!"

notice large garbage bag dumped along the road
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watches The Truman Show "I knew it!"

watches The Truman Show
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