Paranoid Parrot

Date says she had a good time "how long until she breaks up with me?"

Date says she had a good time

Drop unopened can of soda wait 3 hours and open over sink

Drop unopened can of soda wait 3 hours and open over sink  Paranoid Parrot

First Post on reddit look to see if there are upvotes every 5 seconds

First Post on reddit look to see if there are upvotes every 5 seconds  Paranoid Parrot

Black people!? Better lock my car doors

Black people!? Better lock my car doors  Paranoid Parrot

Wake up uncomfortably hot in the middle of the night Get up to make sure house isn't on fire

Wake up uncomfortably hot in the middle of the night Get up to make sure house isn't on fire  Paranoid Parrot

drops soap in shower while alone still feel like you're about to get ass raped

drops soap in shower while alone still feel like you're about to get ass raped  Paranoid Parrot

Afraid of turning off cellphone before meeting What if one of my parents are involved in an accident and the hospital calls?

Afraid of turning off cellphone before meeting What if one of my parents are involved in an accident and the hospital calls?  Paranoid Parrot

make tiny url open new tab to see if it goes to the right url

make tiny url open new tab to see if it goes to the right url  Paranoid Parrot

Stays home sick from school "better have a coughing fit every 5 minutes so no one thinks i'm faking"

Stays home sick from school

puts duct tape over webcam just to be sure

puts duct tape over webcam  just to be sure  Paranoid Parrot
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