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Paranoid Parrot

Date says she had a good time "how long until she breaks up with me?"

Date says she had a good time
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Drop unopened can of soda wait 3 hours and open over sink

Drop unopened can of soda wait 3 hours and open over sink Paranoid Parrot
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First Post on reddit look to see if there are upvotes every 5 seconds

First Post on reddit look to see if there are upvotes every 5 seconds Paranoid Parrot
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Black people!? Better lock my car doors

Black people!? Better lock my car doors Paranoid Parrot
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Wake up uncomfortably hot in the middle of the night Get up to make sure house isn't on fire

Wake up uncomfortably hot in the middle of the night Get up to make sure house isn't on fire Paranoid Parrot
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drops soap in shower while alone still feel like you're about to get ass raped

drops soap in shower while alone still feel like you're about to get ass raped Paranoid Parrot
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Afraid of turning off cellphone before meeting What if one of my parents are involved in an accident and the hospital calls?

Afraid of turning off cellphone before meeting What if one of my parents are involved in an accident and the hospital calls? Paranoid Parrot
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make tiny url open new tab to see if it goes to the right url

make tiny url open new tab to see if it goes to the right url Paranoid Parrot
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Stays home sick from school "better have a coughing fit every 5 minutes so no one thinks i'm faking"

Stays home sick from school
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puts duct tape over webcam just to be sure

puts duct tape over webcam just to be sure Paranoid Parrot
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