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Paranoid Parrot

Sees long comment in ask reddit post Checks to bottom to make sure nobody asks for tree fiddy

Sees long comment in ask reddit post Checks to bottom to make sure nobody asks for tree fiddy Paranoid Parrot
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My new girlfriend is really hot There must be something wrong with her

My new girlfriend is really hot There must be something wrong with her Paranoid Parrot
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Go through yellow light every white vehicle in rear view = police

Go through yellow light every white vehicle in rear view = police Paranoid Parrot
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"you have just performed an illegal operation" turns off computer and closes the curtains
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pees before road trip pees again 10 minutes later to make sure bladder is empty

pees before road trip pees again 10 minutes later to make sure bladder is empty Paranoid Parrot
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Locks car with remote presses button 3 more times to be sure

Locks car with remote presses button 3 more times to be sure Paranoid Parrot
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feels something tickle laying in bed must be bedbugs

feels something tickle laying in bed must be bedbugs Paranoid Parrot
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she used "yes." instead of "yup" She's pissed!

she used
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Freeway Exit in 10 Miles Stays in Right Lane

Freeway Exit in 10 Miles Stays in Right Lane Paranoid Parrot
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Pretty girl starts conversation with me in Poli Sci The Cia is trying to co-opt me

Pretty girl starts conversation with me in Poli Sci The Cia is trying to co-opt me Paranoid Parrot
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