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Paranoid Parrot

Only opens trunk Still locks car twice

Only opens trunk Still locks car twice Paranoid Parrot
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intricate lights on/off pattern so you're never in the dark to defy the murderers in your room at night

intricate lights on/off pattern so you're never in the dark to defy the murderers in your room at night Paranoid Parrot
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Speeding at 2AM Every car is a police car

Speeding at 2AM Every car is a police car Paranoid Parrot
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in a public restroom, on the toilet when somebody walks in... "I refuse to shit."

in a public restroom, on the toilet when somebody walks in...
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The shower curtains are all the way closed... Oh god, theres a serial killer in there

The shower curtains are all the way closed... Oh god, theres a serial killer in there Paranoid Parrot
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EXITING WALMART. APPROACH GREETER BE COOL BE COOL EYES FORWARD BE COOL BE COOL

EXITING WALMART. APPROACH GREETER BE COOL BE COOL EYES FORWARD BE COOL BE COOL Paranoid Parrot
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Can't be friendly to the cop Or else he'll think I'm drunk

Can't be friendly to the cop Or else he'll think I'm drunk Paranoid Parrot
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7.5hr laptop battery is at 84%? Better charge it

7.5hr laptop battery is at 84%? Better charge it Paranoid Parrot
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is someone making toast? or .. am i HAVING A SEIZURE!

is someone making toast? or .. am i HAVING A SEIZURE! Paranoid Parrot
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accidentally jizz in hand taste it

accidentally jizz in hand taste it Paranoid Parrot
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