Paranoid Parrot

Only opens trunk Still locks car twice

Only opens trunk Still locks car twice  Paranoid Parrot

intricate lights on/off pattern so you're never in the dark to defy the murderers in your room at night

intricate lights on/off pattern so you're never in the dark to defy the murderers in your room at night  Paranoid Parrot

Speeding at 2AM Every car is a police car

Speeding at 2AM Every car is a police car  Paranoid Parrot

in a public restroom, on the toilet when somebody walks in... "I refuse to shit."

in a public restroom, on the toilet when somebody walks in...

The shower curtains are all the way closed... Oh god, theres a serial killer in there

The shower curtains are all the way closed... Oh god, theres a serial killer in there  Paranoid Parrot

EXITING WALMART. APPROACH GREETER BE COOL BE COOL EYES FORWARD BE COOL BE COOL

EXITING WALMART. APPROACH GREETER BE COOL BE COOL EYES FORWARD BE COOL BE COOL  Paranoid Parrot

Can't be friendly to the cop Or else he'll think I'm drunk

Can't be friendly to the cop Or else he'll think I'm drunk  Paranoid Parrot

7.5hr laptop battery is at 84%? Better charge it

7.5hr laptop battery is at 84%? Better charge it  Paranoid Parrot

is someone making toast? or .. am i HAVING A SEIZURE!

is someone making toast? or .. am i HAVING A SEIZURE!  Paranoid Parrot

accidentally jizz in hand taste it

accidentally jizz in hand taste it  Paranoid Parrot
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