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Paranoid Parrot

See post on r/wtf about contacts "my contacts are starting to feel weird"

See post on r/wtf about contacts
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scratchy throat and light head must be mercury poisoning

scratchy throat and light head must be mercury poisoning Paranoid Parrot
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Uses credit card at the gas pump Afraid of being accused of not paying

Uses credit card at the gas pump Afraid of being accused of not paying Paranoid Parrot
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FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK Paranoid Parrot
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Wash soap off hands Before rinsing out shampoo

Wash soap off hands Before rinsing out shampoo Paranoid Parrot
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friend knows reddit username can never post anything ever again

friend knows reddit username can never post anything ever again Paranoid Parrot
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The first vote on my post is a downvote delete it immediately

The first vote on my post is a downvote delete it immediately Paranoid Parrot
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Crossing the street looks both ways

Crossing the street looks both ways Paranoid Parrot
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Locks car before exiting, needs to here the beep just to be sure.

Locks car before exiting, needs to here the beep just to be sure. Paranoid Parrot
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rinses sperm stains off pants before putting them in the washing machine so that nobody in the family gets pregnant

rinses sperm stains off pants before putting them in the washing machine so that nobody in the family gets pregnant Paranoid Parrot
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