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Paranoid Parrot

Sees something small and white in sausage It must be a maggot

Sees something small and white in sausage It must be a maggot Paranoid Parrot
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keeps a silver stake on person no proof that vampires don't exist

keeps a silver stake on person no proof that vampires don't exist Paranoid Parrot
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Must poop really fast or they'll think i'm fapping

Must poop really fast or they'll think i'm fapping Paranoid Parrot
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fapping at computer people are watching me through the window

fapping at computer people are watching me through the window Paranoid Parrot
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nervously pay the rent the landlord is going to say i never paid

nervously pay the rent the landlord is going to say i never paid Paranoid Parrot
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forgets comma on english assignment Teacher thinks i'm retarded

forgets comma on english assignment Teacher thinks i'm retarded Paranoid Parrot
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Friend's plate explodes in Microwave never microwave with plate again

Friend's plate explodes in Microwave never microwave with plate again Paranoid Parrot
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GF doesn't return text message She's fuking someone else

GF doesn't return text message She's fuking someone else Paranoid Parrot
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"sorry for the damage" note on car, find no damage apology is in advance!
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Watches 'Nightmare on Elm Street' Is now chronically suffering from sleep deprivation

Watches 'Nightmare on Elm Street' Is now chronically suffering from sleep deprivation Paranoid Parrot
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