Paranoid Parrot

Sees something small and white in sausage It must be a maggot

Sees something small and white in sausage It must be a maggot  Paranoid Parrot

keeps a silver stake on person no proof that vampires don't exist

keeps a silver stake on person no proof that vampires don't exist  Paranoid Parrot

Must poop really fast or they'll think i'm fapping

Must poop really fast or they'll think i'm fapping  Paranoid Parrot

fapping at computer people are watching me through the window

fapping at computer people are watching me through the window  Paranoid Parrot

nervously pay the rent the landlord is going to say i never paid

nervously pay the rent the landlord is going to say i never paid  Paranoid Parrot

forgets comma on english assignment Teacher thinks i'm retarded

forgets comma on english assignment Teacher thinks i'm retarded  Paranoid Parrot

Friend's plate explodes in Microwave never microwave with plate again

Friend's plate explodes in Microwave never microwave with plate again  Paranoid Parrot

GF doesn't return text message She's fuking someone else

GF doesn't return text message She's fuking someone else  Paranoid Parrot

"sorry for the damage" note on car, find no damage apology is in advance!

Watches 'Nightmare on Elm Street' Is now chronically suffering from sleep deprivation

Watches 'Nightmare on Elm Street' Is now chronically suffering from sleep deprivation  Paranoid Parrot
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