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Paranoid Parrot

Wants to sing along with a song on the radio Checks phone to make sure he hasn't pocket dialed someone

Wants to sing along with a song on the radio Checks phone to make sure he hasn't pocket dialed someone Paranoid Parrot
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Sign into Facebook as everyone's leaving THEY HATE ME

Sign into Facebook as everyone's leaving THEY HATE ME Paranoid Parrot
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NOTE FROM BOSS ABOUT AREA NEEDING IMPROVEMENT I'M FIRED

NOTE FROM BOSS ABOUT AREA NEEDING IMPROVEMENT I'M FIRED Paranoid Parrot
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Tickle on my arm it's a spider

Tickle on my arm it's a spider Paranoid Parrot
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SMALL BUMP WHEN BACKING OUT OF DRIVEWAY I JUST MURDERED A NEIGHBORHOOD CHILD

SMALL BUMP WHEN BACKING OUT OF DRIVEWAY I JUST MURDERED A NEIGHBORHOOD CHILD Paranoid Parrot
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Find two perfectly symmetrical lumps on body Double cancer

Find two perfectly symmetrical lumps on body Double cancer Paranoid Parrot
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Looks at side mirrors for other drivers constantly Crashes

Looks at side mirrors for other drivers constantly Crashes Paranoid Parrot
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"borrow" neighbor's unsecured WiFi cover webcam so they can't hack it and see your fap face
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tattooed guy passes you by checks wallet is still in back pocket

tattooed guy passes you by checks wallet is still in back pocket Paranoid Parrot
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Reddit's going down tomorrow It's not coming back.

Reddit's going down tomorrow It's not coming back. Paranoid Parrot
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