Paranoid Parrot

Wants to sing along with a song on the radio Checks phone to make sure he hasn't pocket dialed someone

Wants to sing along with a song on the radio Checks phone to make sure he hasn't pocket dialed someone  Paranoid Parrot

Sign into Facebook as everyone's leaving THEY HATE ME

Sign into Facebook as everyone's leaving THEY HATE ME  Paranoid Parrot

NOTE FROM BOSS ABOUT AREA NEEDING IMPROVEMENT I'M FIRED

NOTE FROM BOSS ABOUT AREA NEEDING IMPROVEMENT I'M FIRED  Paranoid Parrot

Tickle on my arm it's a spider

Tickle on my arm it's a spider  Paranoid Parrot

SMALL BUMP WHEN BACKING OUT OF DRIVEWAY I JUST MURDERED A NEIGHBORHOOD CHILD

SMALL BUMP WHEN BACKING OUT OF DRIVEWAY I JUST MURDERED A NEIGHBORHOOD CHILD  Paranoid Parrot

Find two perfectly symmetrical lumps on body Double cancer

Find two perfectly symmetrical lumps on body Double cancer  Paranoid Parrot

Looks at side mirrors for other drivers constantly Crashes

Looks at side mirrors for other drivers constantly Crashes  Paranoid Parrot

"borrow" neighbor's unsecured WiFi cover webcam so they can't hack it and see your fap face

tattooed guy passes you by checks wallet is still in back pocket

tattooed guy passes you by checks wallet is still in back pocket  Paranoid Parrot

Reddit's going down tomorrow It's not coming back.

Reddit's going down tomorrow It's not coming back.  Paranoid Parrot
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