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Paranoid Parrot

family is proud of you oh fuck now they'll expect perfection at all things

family is proud of you oh fuck now they'll expect perfection at all things Paranoid Parrot
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Mika tell me the truth do i look fat? JK I JUST NEED ATTENTION

Mika tell me the truth do i look fat? JK I JUST NEED ATTENTION Paranoid Parrot
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Cook raw chicken Must have food poisoning

Cook raw chicken Must have food poisoning Paranoid Parrot
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mom counts to three, 1. 2. 3. i'm gonna die

mom counts to three, 1. 2. 3. i'm gonna die Paranoid Parrot
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Receives multiple text messages in succession "Uh, oh. What did I do this time."

Receives multiple text messages in succession
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just peed while somebody else was in the restroom went through the entire act of washing my hands without actually washing them

just peed while somebody else was in the restroom went through the entire act of washing my hands without actually washing them Paranoid Parrot
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Already locked the car better lock four more times just to be sure

Already locked the car better lock four more times just to be sure Paranoid Parrot
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Runny Nose Brain leaking fluid

Runny Nose Brain leaking fluid Paranoid Parrot
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Dick tip accidentally touches public toilet I bet I just got aids, herpes and syphilis

Dick tip accidentally touches public toilet I bet I just got aids, herpes and syphilis Paranoid Parrot
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Flying across the country Better delete browsing history before I leave

Flying across the country Better delete browsing history before I leave Paranoid Parrot
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