Paranoid Parrot

family is proud of you oh fuck now they'll expect perfection at all things

family is proud of you oh fuck now they'll expect perfection at all things  Paranoid Parrot

Mika tell me the truth do i look fat? JK I JUST NEED ATTENTION

Mika tell me the truth do i look fat? JK I JUST NEED ATTENTION   Paranoid Parrot

Cook raw chicken Must have food poisoning

Cook raw chicken Must have food poisoning  Paranoid Parrot

mom counts to three, 1. 2. 3. i'm gonna die

mom counts to three,    1.   2.   3. i'm gonna die  Paranoid Parrot

Receives multiple text messages in succession "Uh, oh. What did I do this time."

Receives multiple text messages in succession

just peed while somebody else was in the restroom went through the entire act of washing my hands without actually washing them

just peed while somebody else was in the restroom went through the entire act of washing my hands without actually washing them  Paranoid Parrot

Already locked the car better lock four more times just to be sure

Already locked the car better lock four more times just to be sure  Paranoid Parrot

Runny Nose Brain leaking fluid

Runny Nose Brain leaking fluid  Paranoid Parrot

Dick tip accidentally touches public toilet I bet I just got aids, herpes and syphilis

Dick tip accidentally touches public toilet I bet I just got aids, herpes and syphilis   Paranoid Parrot

Flying across the country Better delete browsing history before I leave

Flying across the country Better delete browsing history before I leave  Paranoid Parrot
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