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Paranoid Parrot

hear a noise outside of tent "oh god no, it's jason voorhees."

hear a noise outside of tent
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1,456 shares

I have to walk over the bridge at 8 pm. I'm going to die.

I have to walk over the bridge at 8 pm. I'm going to die. Paranoid Parrot
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1,451 shares

hear dog barking while walking through neighborhood I am going to be attacked

hear dog barking while walking through neighborhood I am going to be attacked Paranoid Parrot
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1,449 shares

quarter inch of wiggle room in roller coaster harness going to fall out during a loop

quarter inch of wiggle room in roller coaster harness going to fall out during a loop Paranoid Parrot
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1,447 shares

Sick in morning PREGNANT

Sick in morning PREGNANT Paranoid Parrot
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1,444 shares

Craving a pickle must be pregnant

Craving a pickle must be pregnant Paranoid Parrot
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1,443 shares

Watches garage door as it closes So the murderer can't roll under at the last second

Watches garage door as it closes So the murderer can't roll under at the last second Paranoid Parrot
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1,442 shares

Stomach Ache OH GOD! MY APPENDIX BURST!

Stomach Ache OH GOD! MY APPENDIX BURST! Paranoid Parrot
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1,438 shares

taking a dump, bathroom door doesn't lock hold doorknob from toilet in case somebody tries to come in

taking a dump, bathroom door doesn't lock hold doorknob from toilet in case somebody tries to come in Paranoid Parrot
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1,437 shares

Tired of posts from certain subreddits Won't unsubscribe in fear of missing something good

Tired of posts from certain subreddits Won't unsubscribe in fear of missing something good Paranoid Parrot
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1,436 shares

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