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Paranoid Parrot

Guy on tv covered in bugs itch everywhere

Guy on tv covered in bugs itch everywhere Paranoid Parrot
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Learns to say "no means no" in 10 languages and 5 dialects just in case

Learns to say
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Locks the bathroom door Lives alone

Locks the bathroom door Lives alone Paranoid Parrot
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at home on conference call for work with phone muted Still too scared to flush in case it makes noise

at home on conference call for work with phone muted Still too scared to flush in case it makes noise Paranoid Parrot
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Random eye pain BRAIN ANEURYSM

Random eye pain BRAIN ANEURYSM Paranoid Parrot
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want to like a facebook update already liked an update from the same person lately and don't want to appear creepy

want to like a facebook update already liked an update from the same person lately and don't want to appear creepy Paranoid Parrot
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Incognito mode Still clears history

Incognito mode Still clears history Paranoid Parrot
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buys GIrl a dozen roses throws away 11 of them to look normal

buys GIrl a dozen roses throws away 11 of them to look normal Paranoid Parrot
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Girlfriend complaining of weird stomach pains PREGNANT

Girlfriend complaining of weird stomach pains PREGNANT Paranoid Parrot
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Sharp, shooting pains in my head must be a brain tumor

Sharp, shooting pains in my head must be a brain tumor Paranoid Parrot
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