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Paranoid Parrot
Sees A right wing conspiracy post on Facebook Immediately starts searching every news site to see if it's real
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Someone in another floor keeps using the toilet flush They want me to get second degree burns
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Finds a shiny pokemon saves 10 times
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COMPUTER SAYS IT'S SAFE TO EJECT STORAGE DEVICE DO IT AS FAST AS POSSIBLE BEFORE IT CHANGES IT'S MIND
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googles site instead of typing url in address bar because every misspelled url goes somewhere bad
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triple checks iphone alarm clock in case finger slipped from a.m. to p.m.
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Sees strangers laughing they must be laughing at me
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REDDIT WILL CRASH!!
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Noticed building next door has a few black families "Time to buy a gun"
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I've had a runny nose for a week now Better get it checked to see if it's brain fluid
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